Three Action Thursday

This is Why We Are Lonely!

Last month I invited you to jump in on the next three books the Three Action Thursday Community was planning to read. I made it through the first two, and here I am with my take on the third book, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging by Sebastian Junger.

Tribe: On Homecoming and BelongingMy book summary in two sentences:

  1. This book is about how humans relate to each other and how modern society is pulling us away from our “tribal” roots, making us less connected and depressed.
  2. In my mind, the book accurately describes the dynamics that lead to modern unhappiness but really only hints at things we could do to rectify it.

Three Action Thursday Takeaways:

  1. There is a lot we can learn from tribal societies about loyalty, belonging, and the eternal human quest for meaning. The book used examples of white settlers “defecting” to Native American societies which I personally never heard about in history class.
  2. Wars might be the best example of tribal (ancestral) societies that we have. And even still, war intensity and death has decreased with each subsequent major war, but yet PTSD rates have increased significantly. Without question, war is terrible; however, long term mental trauma may actually be caused more by modern society than by the violence of battle.
  3. Despite even the poorest of people in modern society enjoying a level of physical comfort that was unimaginable a thousand years ago, and the wealthiest people living the way gods were imagined to have lived, we are still struggling to remain satisfied or even attain a lasting satisfaction in the first place.

Life Changing “Aha Moment”:

Junger’s book has only further cemented my belief that finding a “tribe” of people to belong to is key for mental health, business success, and overall personal happiness. The more our lives are made easier by technology, the more I think we need to “manufacture” and almost force challenging tribal experiences to occur so that we can remain vulnerable, authentic, and connected with one another.

We must be intentional in our relationships and our experiences. The opportunities clearly exist. I am personally seeing it now in the world: there are more extreme tribal team building experiences available than ever (spartan races, ropes courses, trapeze, bungee, caveman hiking trips, etc.).These things are popping up and becoming popular, I think, because humans are unknowingly thirsty for a tribal experience that they are not getting in their everyday lives.

It has me wondering what I should do in the next year to create that tribal environment for my family, friends, co-workers, and employees.


  1. Read Tribe.
  2. Watch Sebastian Junger’s TedTalk on “Our Lonely Society…”
  3. What tribal experience will you engage in order to strengthen your bonds with others?**

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